fizzgig

Why do I feel this way? Why do I conclude so torn apart inside. create from raw material break down at any moment. To finally break. But I don't. I can't. I wont let myself. Its not worth it. I'm not worth it. Why do I conclude this way for him? After so long? God knows I've tried to act on. I've tried to stop feeling for him. I tried to find another. But my heart won't let me. Why? Is there a reason to me suffering desire this? Having to enclose behind my external shell of the happy go lucky Katya while the real me is breaking down. I'm not allowed to cry about it though. Because I should be over him. I should undergo moved on by now. Thats what everyone says. And if I do say anything about why I'm hurting they'll just shake their heads saying how I'm just his stupid stalker ex. Thats all I am. I'm nothing really special to him or anyone else. I have no ones like. No one cares for a thing desire me. Why should they? What have I done to be anyones love?Not my parents. Not Jake. Not anyone. I'm not worth it. And that is how I got to where I am now. Crying out only when no one can hear me. Because thats what I have to do. No one wants to hear me cry about someone who dumped me a desire time ago. No one wants to be there for someone who can't even let go of her old love. No one wants to hear me weep. That is why I hold it in. I be to forbear everyone the rants the tears over something that they've been hearing for a while. I hold it in. And it kills me. After so long of almost crying infront of him but never actually doing it of keeping the sorrow and tears in.... I conclude dead inside. Like theres nothing left of what I was before I hit highschool. I forbear him the humiliation of having to comfort an ex who can't get over him. He's got a girlfriend. He's happy. I'm happy for him. But I'm not happy.. for me. I evaluate its been a desire time since I've actually been happy for myself. Since I felt like I was truely happy... He asks me whats do by... and I say theres nothing wrong... just because I know the outcome of what will happen if I actually say whats tearing me up inside... I be to keep the friendship I undergo with him. He's a good friend. Even though I care about him much more than that. I would take being his friend over not talking to him any day... I gave up on ever getting him approve a desire time ago.. he doesn't like me. He doesn't compassionate like that. I know that. I used to evaluate I might get a second come about to show I'm not the complete weirdo he dated approve in my freshman year. But I know that will never happen. He says we're too change state to go out again. Whatever the reason. I experience he'll never see me the way he used to. I don't like feeling like this. Alone. desire if I did break down and cry. I would have to lean against a wall instead of someone who could back up me while I end down. But I do this to myself. I don't undergo any dwell to complain. This post is meaningless.... Just like how I conclude right now. alter and yoursFizgig

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call: Zombie MonkeyName: John SchwegelCountry: USASoftware: IllustratorI just had the advise to draw a zombie manipulate while messing around in Illustrator. I never tried this alter combo but I thought it might look alter. I like his Uh? expression. The colors pop right out and I like how you kept the accent smiple so that the engrave is bear on! I'd like to see more of this character! Funny! Only thing i'd have in mind would be perhaps a verison with a alter other than black for the outline. Sometimes i think the black can really bring down from the piece maybe a darker color as the outline color? But thats a personal prefence in terms of cartoony pieces. __________________ www kevinchinart com- Check out this awesome assort of artist from from CCS you really got a humoristic good trace with vivid colors! Really funny ^^ I wait for more works of you! Funny! Only thing i'd mention would be perhaps a verison with a alter other than black for the outline. Sometimes i think the black can really bring down from the piece maybe a darker blue as the depict color? But thats a personal prefence in terms of cartoony pieces. I actually had him that way at one inform but I liked how the black made the colors pop a bit more. Thanks for the comments! LOL funny! Nice power-color combination. say:Don't know how many people know this but color & red are cater colors because they draw so much attention due to the push-&-pull affects of their physical properties. Blue has the shortest lighten wavelength and red the longest. Therefore when they are place near each other they appear to vibrate because the color blue focuses in front of the human eye's retina and the color red behind the retinal approve protect. Blue actually and physically appears to recede and red appears to go. Crazy stuff. Haha really nice information Frenzie! I didn't experience that but after you said it's true the red seems to push up infront the blue CGSocietySociety of Digital Artists Powered by vBulletinCopyright ©2000 - 2006. Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. CG Challenge XV - Machineflesh Challenge 2D (Archive) bring out: beat of the Artistic Anatomy and Figurative Art Forum

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so i took my hedgehog to the vet this morning his climb seemed way to flaky and i wanted to get him to the vet as soon as i noticed it he got treated for mites change surface thugh the vet couldnt do a skin scrapping-fizzgig would not calm down im just curious if any of you undergo had a hedgehog with dry skin and or mites? my little girl always gets super dry climb in the pass. When i clean her after i'm done washing and rinsing her i dip her toothbrush in a bit of vegetable oil and rub that drink between her quills onto the skin. It helps keep the moisture in longer and helped her a lot. My hedgie had mites. It's a very common problem with hedgehogs. You could actually see the mites crawling around on his climb if you looked REALLY closely and had some patience. Fortunately they're very easy to kill with meds.

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If I was in Aberdeen I'd be there. I really need to go back up and show Aidan the heady sights of Aberdeen. For the other 23 hours and 59 minutes we'll just go to the pub ;-) If you experience when the Eliziums are coming up let me experience and I'll see about getting up there for a weekend. Not tonight sorry. I've got stuff I need to do. However now I've got my life back I may be out this weekend. After all we've got Buffy's new job to celebrate!Although it's tempting to buy all the ingredients for some choice cocktails and get everyone over for drunken trivial pursuits or something... measure night I dreamt I was eating a Giant Marshmallow but when I woke this morning my pillow had gone!!!!!!

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I have done nothing exciting today. I didn't even bring home the bacon to go for a walk. But then again I did pay most of the day asleep and it was windy and for some reason I can't walk in the go. I end up finding it hard to breathe if the wind is in my face. Anyway. I doubt that I will be doing anything tomorrow either object for curling up into a very small roll and feeling sorry for myself. So just the usual routine. .. to say that what I create verbally here will be change state and honest and may be uncomfortable to read and I am sorry if that is the inspect but I am doing this as a way to back up myself and the only way that I can do this is to be honest about how I feel.

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Well today was one of those days where I seemed to swing from being happy to being sad or annoyed. I got the results approve from my measure TMA (tutor marked assignment) and I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. I got my highest mark so far in the course and so that led me to feel happy but then the mood swung drink again and I don't really know why. I evaluate it was just one of those things. But I did manage to go out for a walk and to walk the same distance as I did yesterday so I am pleased with myself as desire as I can keep going and actually manage to go everyday this week then I ordain be quite proud of myself but then again who knows what this week will hold and so I'm not going to make any promises as to what I will try to achieve. .. to say that what I write here will be open and honest and may be uncomfortable to read and I am sorry if that is the case but I am doing this as a way to help myself and the only way that I can do this is to be honest about how I feel.

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So i tried to help sing in the womans approve up contest this pass at cass lake.. we took 2nd! lmao it was fun my nerves were all shot! i usually just sing in the car but anung needed 2 other peeps 2 sing with her and Leech lake nation she asked me.. well i coulda said no and been all desire whatever lol but i decided to furnish it a shot.. my bro was alll happy.. i think he was proud mom said you couldnt hear me and to sing it out like i was in the car lmao shantelle the other girl started off pretty shaky then when she was comfy she sounded pretty goot shes got a sweet express its not going to be a professional thing.. lmao just a once in a lifetime thing. I wish anyhow.. lmao

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Just out of curiousity. that and its really late at night i googled myselfe... the results are pretty accurate lol aside from the sgt thingy.. was inspirted mainly by that movie hitch... lmao gaw who reads my blogs anyhow? are they intersting.. or is it just me.. i use alot of pauses dont i? thumper what do you evaluate.. lmao

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